Memory & Redemption

Reflections on Jewish life from within

A Damaged Mirror

 

Read the Foreword by Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo.

 

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Or download a Sample Chapter

 

Excerpts from A Damaged Mirror

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  • The Time of Our Rejoicing – In spite of everything
  • Making order of the Passover Seder
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  • Knowing the Way Home

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  • For Book Clubs & Educators
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    • Moral Dilemmas in the Holocaust: Discussion topics
    • Returning: Glossary of Hebrew terms
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Becoming a Different Yael Shahar

I am not that  Yael Shahar. The Yael Shahar who lectures on counter terrorism and intelligence, who studies the art of war, who became proficient at the art of killing at a distance, that is not me.

I must admit that I share a life with her; we share a house, an overdraft, and, somewhat awkwardly, a husband.

I am the other side of that Yael. A softer side? No indeed! Let us say, a side that has lived a subconscious, if no less real, existence.

Until now.

What has changed?

Well, that is Ovadya’s story and I’ll let him tell it. My part is to give expression to those things that have until now lived a less public existence, pulling the strings behind the scenes, but never said openly. The thoughts of Teshuvah and Redemption, the understanding of death, the appreciation of life.

As for that other Yael, she’s still there. She’s not hard to find. I, on the other hand…well, you’ll have to come looking for me.

So who am I?

I’m a student, both of Judaism and Life. But what exactly I study isn’t so easily categorized. I study Talmud, Jewish philosophy, the development of Halakhah… And then there are the wider interests—mathematical logic, relativity physics, the history of ideas.

What else? Well, I am a teacher, though for most of my life, this has been the provenance of “that other Yael”. In that persona I have taught Methodologies of Threat Assessment, Terrorism Informatics, Fourth Generation Warfare, and Organizational Dynamics of Terrorist Organizations. Oh, and sniping…. Yes, of course I’ve taught the art of long-range riflery.

But now, it seems time to try my hand at other things….

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Dazzling… Returning is an extraordinary and challenging book on many levels.
– Philip K. Jason, Washington Independent Review of Books

Intriguing! At times dark and haunting, at times lyrical and introspective, Returning resonates long after “the end”!
– Dan Sofer, author of the Dry Bones Society trilogy

Returning is a compelling, puzzling, remarkably honest story of a Jew’s sins against his people and his tradition, and of his search for forgiveness and restoration.
– Bill Tammeus, Faith Matters

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Yael Shahar

Yael Shahar

Yael Shahar is the author of Returning. She spent most of her career working in security and intelligence, with brief forays into teaching astronomy and physics. She now divides her time between researching trends in terrorism and learning Talmud with anyone who will sit still long enough.

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"In those circumstances we are reduced to bare existence, bereft of all that we once believed to define us. Naked, we have no pockets in which to store the things that we once used in the natural trade of human interactions. Instead, we come to value a different currency—our humanity. It is this currency that truly defines us, and even death cannot entirely devalue it. The more is taken away, the more we value what is left."

 

- Ovadya ben Malka, A Damaged Mirror

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“We stand on the edge of the abyss, across whose unknowable face we paint meaning so as not to see into it. It is always there. But we’re here too, and we are no less real than the abyss. We are no less meaningful for being transient creatures caught up in something too big for us. There is still value to our lives. I’ve learned that those things that are most fragile are also the most precious.”

 

― Ovadya ben Malka, A Damaged Mirror

Top Posts & Pages

  • Parashat Terumah: The Tent of the King
  • HaRav Adin Steinsaltz: A place at the four dimensional table
  • We have met the enemy... The Jewish terrorists among us
  • Book Review: The Disappearance of God by Richard Elliot Friedman
  • The Law of the King: individual commandment or national constitution?
  • Book Review: An Unexpected Afterlife by Dan Sofer
  • It is not in Heaven: Musings on the Meaning of Torah min Shamayim
  • Yael Shahar - Home
  • Haveil Havelim Jewish Blog Carnival
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With a new Foreword by Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo.

View a Sample Chapter

 

Excerpts from A Damaged Mirror

Main Topics

  • Book Reviews
  • Featured
  • Guest Posts
  • Halakhic Process
  • Hashkafah & Jewish Thought
  • Havruta with a One-Eyed Cat
  • Memory & History
  • Miscellaneous
  • Parashat HaShavua
  • Poetry
  • Returning
  • T'shuvah & Healing
  • The Jewish Year
  • Writing & Publishing

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