Memory & Redemption

Reflections on Jewish life from within

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Excerpts from Returning

Returning explores the boundaries between right and wrong, choice and choicelessness—and what happens when we cross those boundaries. It challenges notions of black and white, and calls into question the sovereignty of death itself. Here you can find excerpts and out-takes, as well as related materials that influenced the writing.

The Sonderkommando and the Rabbi: A conversation on the nature of evil

January 28, 2018 by Ovadya ben Malka Leave a Comment

When does survival become a crime? When does choice become treason? And what choice do we have when all choices are wrong? These are the questions faced by the Sonderkommando—the Jews who were forced to burn the bodies of the dead.

For Those Who Wrote: The attempts by the Birkenau Sonderkommando to leave a record

January 25, 2018 by Ovadya ben Malka Leave a Comment

A tribute to Zalman Gradowski and others among the Birkenau Sonderkommando who worked to get word out of what was happening in Birkenau-Auschwitz.

Message Delivered: A Sonderkommando speaks

January 25, 2018 by Yael Shahar Leave a Comment

Ovadya ben Malka, a former member of the Birkenau Sonderkommando has approached Rabbi Ish-Shalom in search of atonement and absolution. Instead, the rabbi has told him that no atonement is possible; he must tell all that he remembers and pay his debt to the dead. In this excerpt, Ovadya finally breaches the silence that has engulfed him since Birkenau.

In a Time of Persecution: The Sonderkommando & the Rabbi

January 12, 2018 by Ovadya ben Malka Leave a Comment

When does survival become a crime? When does choice become treason? And what must happen before we are forgiven? A survivor of the Birkenau sonderkommando gets more than he bargained for when he brings his past to a rabbi for judgment.

Priorities and Charity: A Sonderkommando’s lesson in humanity

January 6, 2018 by Ovadya ben Malka Leave a Comment

Even when all that defines us is stripped away, one thing remains–the ability to help others. In extending a hand to another we save ourselves as well.

To be a Memory: Trauma and identity

January 3, 2018 by Ovadya ben Malka 3 Comments

It is a strange thing, to be a memory…. I write from a moment in my own past—from within my memories. In fact, I realize that I am my memories. I am everything that I remember up to this point in my life. I drift between the past and the future—living and dreaming and thinking in the past, but writing in my own future.

Rabbi Cardozo’s Afterword to Returning

April 13, 2015 by Yael Shahar Leave a Comment

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo speculates on the implications of resurgent memory in our day. Could it be that we are witnessing the revival of the dead without even recognizing it? “Isaiah’s words, ‘the earth will reveal her bloodshed and will no longer cover her slain,’ are eerily appropriate to the phenomenon described in this book: a memory from beyond the grave takes form and substance, and stands in accusation against the murderers. … Could this phenomenon be the fulfillment of the prophetic vision?”

Anniversaries

March 25, 2014 by Yael Shahar 1 Comment

On March 25th 1943, Ovadya and his family arrived at Birkenau. His mother Malka and his sister Miryam were gassed on arrival. At seventeen, Ovadya had already outlived his world, though he was as yet unaware of it. His survival was to cost him dearly. On March 25th 2014, his story was officially released into the world. His promises to the dead were fulfilled and he had witnessed their fulfillment.

The story of Shmuel the Glazier: File under “Lessons for Life”

January 24, 2014 by Ovadya ben Malka 1 Comment

Miracles do happen, sometimes, to some people. But we still have to be fast on our feet to make any use of them. Shmuel the Glazier points the way.

The Revival of the Dead: A Poem by Ovadya ben Malka

August 1, 2013 by Ovadya ben Malka Leave a Comment

T’chiat HaMetim means being reborn to see death for what it is, and to know that those things are most precious that can be taken from us in the blink of an eye

Dazzling… Returning is an extraordinary and challenging book on many levels.
– Philip K. Jason, Washington Independent Review of Books

Intriguing! At times dark and haunting, at times lyrical and introspective, Returning resonates long after “the end”!
– Dan Sofer, author of the Dry Bones Society trilogy

Returning is a compelling, puzzling, remarkably honest story of a Jew’s sins against his people and his tradition, and of his search for forgiveness and restoration.
– Bill Tammeus, Faith Matters

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