Memory & Redemption

Reflections on Jewish life from within

A Damaged Mirror

 

Read the Foreword by Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo.

 

Start reading online now!
Or download a Sample Chapter

 

Excerpts from A Damaged Mirror

Recent Posts

  • The Great Hanukkah Cover-up: self-censorship and national survival
  • The Time of Our Rejoicing – In spite of everything
  • Making order of the Passover Seder
  • The Post War Challenge: Learning from successes as well as failures
  • Knowing the Way Home

Topics

  • Home
  • About Yael Shahar
    • Yael Shahar – Author bio
    • Becoming a Different Yael Shahar
    • The Revival of the Dead: A personal journey
    • Writing as Self-Transformation: Kasva Press interviews Yael Shahar
    • Book a speaking engagement, lecture, or interactive workshop
    • Contact Yael Shahar
  • For Book Clubs & Educators
    • Resources for Book Clubs & Educators
    • About the Book
    • Reader’s guide
    • Reflections & Resources on T’shuvah – Free download
    • Moral Dilemmas in the Holocaust: Discussion topics
    • Returning: Glossary of Hebrew terms
  • Blog: Reflections & Musings
You are here: Home / The Jewish Year / Tisha b’Av – Learning from the past

Tisha b’Av – Learning from the past

July 20, 2018 by Yael Shahar Leave a Comment

For the past few years, I’ve experienced increasing discomfort with the mourning customs surrounding Tisha b’Av. Is it really appropriate to mourn the loss of Jewish sovereignty nearly 2,000 years ago in the midst of the reborn Jewish nation? Do we not express a certain lack of appreciation if we mourn as if we were still in exile?  With the Ingathering of the Exiles in full swing, Jerusalem rebuilt and teeming with Jewish life, a renaissance in Jewish education happening all around us… should we continue to mourn a loss that is gradually being healed?

But that’s not how communal memory works, particularly traumatic memory; it does not fade with time. This is not a bug; it’s a feature!  If Tisha b’Av were merely about the loss of the Second Temple, we would be “over it” by now. The fact that we continue to mourn indicates that there is something here that we instinctively know we should not “get over”.

Tisha b’Av is an intentionally triggered “national flashback”. Any survivor will tell you that the anniversary of a traumatic event is the time when one is most likely to relive it. Rather than trying to “get over it”, we acknowledge that there are things we must remember if we are to survive as a nation.  More than the physical loss of sovereignty, we mourn the gradual degradation of moral and social standards that lead to those losses.

Memory, even while painful, is the key to learning from our mistakes. The consequences of a bad decision are much more likely to be internalized if the memory is vivid and immediate. If we are to learn from the tragedy of national discord, we must be prepared to re-experience—intimately and with all our senses—the inevitable outcome of that disunity.

So yes, it’s natural to wonder whether, with Jerusalem rebuilt, surrounded by a thriving Jewish state, we should still mourn the destruction of Jerusalem. But I would argue that especially now, in the midst of national rebirth, the lessons of Tisha b’Av take on a new urgency.

For the past 2,000 years we were not in a position to repeat the mistakes of the past. Now we are. Our national rebirth brings us face to face with many of the same tests that we so dismally failed before.  A look at today’s Times of Israel headlines are enough to show that it’s too early to declare victory. There’s nothing like a “national flashback” to make us viscerally aware of what awaits us if we fail again.

Tisha b’Av is a day when we acknowledge that wrong decisions have consequences, that what is lost can never be regained. It is a day of honoring lost potential, so that we will finally learn that what is most precious is also the most fragile.

Share this:

  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • More
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: The Jewish Year Tagged With: 9th of Av, Tisha b'Av

About Yael Shahar

After an adventurous and unattributable career in security and intelligence, Yael Shahar now divides her time between researching trends in terrorism and learning Talmud with anyone who will sit still long enough. She is an entertaining and sought-after public speaker, and lectures both in Israel and abroad.

Dazzling… Returning is an extraordinary and challenging book on many levels.
– Philip K. Jason, Washington Independent Review of Books

Intriguing! At times dark and haunting, at times lyrical and introspective, Returning resonates long after “the end”!
– Dan Sofer, author of the Dry Bones Society trilogy

Returning is a compelling, puzzling, remarkably honest story of a Jew’s sins against his people and his tradition, and of his search for forgiveness and restoration.
– Bill Tammeus, Faith Matters

Free Download

Related Posts

  • On running a book club discussion during the Nine Days
  • The seeds planted on Tisha b’Av
  • Tisha b’Av: Redemption rooted in tragedy
  • The Great Hanukkah Cover-up: self-censorship and national survival
  • The Time of Our Rejoicing – In spite of everything

Popular Posts

  • Parashat Terumah: The Tent of the King
    Parashat Terumah: The Tent of the King
  • HaRav Adin Steinsaltz: A place at the four dimensional table
    HaRav Adin Steinsaltz: A place at the four dimensional table
  • We have met the enemy... The Jewish terrorists among us
    We have met the enemy... The Jewish terrorists among us
  • Book Review: An Unexpected Afterlife by Dan Sofer
    Book Review: An Unexpected Afterlife by Dan Sofer
  • It is not in Heaven: Musings on the Meaning of Torah min Shamayim
    It is not in Heaven: Musings on the Meaning of Torah min Shamayim
  • Yael Shahar - Home
    Yael Shahar - Home
  • Haveil Havelim Jewish Blog Carnival
    Haveil Havelim Jewish Blog Carnival
  • Book Review: The Disappearance of God by Richard Elliot Friedman
    Book Review: The Disappearance of God by Richard Elliot Friedman
  • The Law of the King: individual commandment or national constitution?
    The Law of the King: individual commandment or national constitution?

Main Topics

  • Book Reviews
  • Featured
  • Guest Posts
  • Halakhic Process
  • Hashkafah & Jewish Thought
  • Havruta with a One-Eyed Cat
  • Memory & History
  • Miscellaneous
  • Parashat HaShavua
  • Poetry
  • Returning
  • T'shuvah & Healing
  • The Jewish Year
  • Writing & Publishing
Yael Shahar

Yael Shahar

Yael Shahar is the author of Returning. She spent most of her career working in security and intelligence, with brief forays into teaching astronomy and physics. She now divides her time between researching trends in terrorism and learning Talmud with anyone who will sit still long enough.

View Full Profile →

divider3

"In those circumstances we are reduced to bare existence, bereft of all that we once believed to define us. Naked, we have no pockets in which to store the things that we once used in the natural trade of human interactions. Instead, we come to value a different currency—our humanity. It is this currency that truly defines us, and even death cannot entirely devalue it. The more is taken away, the more we value what is left."

 

- Ovadya ben Malka, A Damaged Mirror

divider3

“We stand on the edge of the abyss, across whose unknowable face we paint meaning so as not to see into it. It is always there. But we’re here too, and we are no less real than the abyss. We are no less meaningful for being transient creatures caught up in something too big for us. There is still value to our lives. I’ve learned that those things that are most fragile are also the most precious.”

 

― Ovadya ben Malka, A Damaged Mirror

Top Posts & Pages

  • Parashat Terumah: The Tent of the King
  • HaRav Adin Steinsaltz: A place at the four dimensional table
  • We have met the enemy... The Jewish terrorists among us
  • Book Review: An Unexpected Afterlife by Dan Sofer
  • It is not in Heaven: Musings on the Meaning of Torah min Shamayim
  • Yael Shahar - Home
  • Haveil Havelim Jewish Blog Carnival
  • Book Review: The Disappearance of God by Richard Elliot Friedman
  • The Law of the King: individual commandment or national constitution?
Cover_3D_small

 

With a new Foreword by Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo.

View a Sample Chapter

 

Excerpts from A Damaged Mirror

Main Topics

  • Book Reviews
  • Featured
  • Guest Posts
  • Halakhic Process
  • Hashkafah & Jewish Thought
  • Havruta with a One-Eyed Cat
  • Memory & History
  • Miscellaneous
  • Parashat HaShavua
  • Poetry
  • Returning
  • T'shuvah & Healing
  • The Jewish Year
  • Writing & Publishing

Connect with me on Facebook

Connect with me on Facebook

Proudly hosted by:

Web Hosting

© 2026 · Yael Shahar · Built by Kasva Press